People living with dementia stay connected with their communities in many meaningful and practical ways, and in recent years, dementia-friendly communities have grown in number, creating environments where people can feel understood and supported. In Enact-Dem we are witnessing how, for some, activity and social groups are an important part of staying connected, providing a structure to the week, with group activities, refreshments, conversation, and opportunities to build new connections. Even ordinary community activities. like going shopping, attending religious services, or joining a club, continue to play an important role in supporting how people living with dementia can remain active participants in these familiar spaces. But alongside the importance of getting on with the routine, ‘ordinariness’ of life, so too is it important to be able to engage in the extra-ordinary.
Celebrations can serve as powerful moments of communality and shared meaning. Traditions such as familiar music or foodstuffs can draw on long-held memories or can anchor a person’s sense of identity, reminding people of who they are, the life they have lived and of course continue to live. And when the details of a celebration fade, the positive emotions it evokes can linger, offering a sense of belonging and connection long after the event has ended. Celebrations weave essential social threads, bringing people together to create moments of community, joy and companionship. The sensory richness of celebrations, be that of food, music, or decoration, can add another layer of connections to people, time and place; while the seasonal rituals or annual gatherings to mark an event such as Christmas, can act as gentle anchors, brining structure and familiarity with the passing of time.
One of the support groups we have been working with in north Kent held its winter celebration and Christmas Party in early December, which, as she reports here, Gill was fortunate enough to attend.
The party was already in full swing when I arrived just after 1pm. The hall was packed. Every seat around the edges of the room was taken, and a lively buzz filled the air. Tables were joined together in a long row around the edges of the room, laid beautifully with green Christmas tablecloths, crackers perched neatly at each place, and plates and napkins waiting for the buffet. A glittering Christmas tree glowed softly from the corner, setting the festive tone and handmade paperchains decorated the walls.
Non-alcoholic fizz and endless cups of tea were already being poured as people greeted one another with warm smiles. Many had dressed for the occasion in bright, cheerful Christmas jumpers. The group leader was looking especially smart in his suit and tie and moved happily between tables as people called out greetings to him.
Not long after I settled in, the group’s regular singer and a former opera singer, stepped up with her microphone and began her first performance. Her voice filled the space beautifully, and people began drifting towards the dance floor. Some sang along, others swayed from their seats, and the atmosphere became not just warm but communal.
The dance floor soon became a lovely mix of movement: people dancing with friends, couples holding hands, and some moving around with their walkers or frames, laughing as they spun gently in little circles. At one point, a lady pushed her walking frame aside to dance freely, causing the frame to spin around in circles on its own, which made the whole room to erupt in laughter and delight.
The paper chains around the walls fluttered slightly as people moved around the room collecting coats and walking aids. They gave the hall a simple, homely touch, a reminder that much of the group’s warmth comes from the creativity and care of the centre. Two large tables near the wall were heaving with raffle prizes. Boxes of chocolates and biscuits, jigsaw puzzles, sweets, toiletries, soft toys, little homeware items, even a generous donation of a treatment from a local osteopath, created a colourful display. The group leader made his way around selling strips of raffle tickets, chatting to everyone as he went.
After about half an hour of singing and dancing, the buffet was announced. People were excited and started to go and fill their plates with party food. One lady waved me over warmly to sit next to her. It was especially touching because she’s usually very protective of the seat beside her, and I felt privileged to have been welcomed to sit by her. She uses a frame for mobility; there were many people offering to help her navigate the buffet and get her drinks. Later, when she won several raffle prizes, others supported her to collect them from the prize table. Sitting with her allowed me to appreciate just how connected she is within the group; many people came over to say hello and to offer help to her.
A highlight of the afternoon was the arrival of children from the local primary school. They had walked down from the school, just a short distance away, and filed into the hall with handmade Christmas cards. When they began singing carols, the entire room softened, people leaned in, smiling, some wiping away tears. When they finished, one gentleman held out his hand to high-five each child as they walked past with a big smile on his face. The children were delighted, and the exchanges were full of warmth. After the performance, the teachers handed out handmade cards from the children, each brightly coloured and decorated, and each received a selection box of chocolates from the group before heading back.
All around the room, people were gathering small plates of cakes, sausage rolls, fruit and savoury snacks. Some selected extra items to take home, wrapped up securely in napkins. One person even made up a small tub of treats to give to the children who live next door to her.
Among the celebration, there were pockets of more serious conversation too. Two separately shared with me that they had been dealing with some personal worries at home, which had been upsetting them. Amid the celebration, some gentle conversations touched on how this time of year can feel emotional. One attendee was attending on her own because her husband was at his cognitive stimulation group, and although she missed having him there, it seemed it also gave her a small but welcome chance to reconnect with others. With many former caregivers attending the group after the loss of their partners, the festive season can bring tender memories to the surface, even as people enjoy being together. Some became momentarily bothered by another member who was talking rather loudly on their phone during the children’s singing. I overheard someone gently reminding others, “It’s not their fault, they have dementia,” helping to reduce tension and maintain empathy.
A few people left early, worried about the darkness and fatigue. A 1pm–4pm event filled with activity proved tiring for some of those living with dementia, especially with extra noise and stimulation. There was also some confusion when the group leader had to leave early for another meeting. A few people started clearing away tablecloths and food, which caused others to think the party was ending. Several people stood up to go before others managed to call them back and explain the celebration was continuing for another hour.
A lovely moment in the afternoon was the presentation of a generous £300 cheque from Caremark, which was warmly received and greatly appreciated by the group.
Later, when the singer resumed, one man living with dementia was encouraged up to perform You’ll Never Walk Alone with her, a song he traditionally sings at the end of each weekly meeting. Usually quiet and at times appearing disengaged, he transforms completely during this song. His voice, presence and emotion filled the room, and several people became tearful watching him. His wife filmed proudly as she always does; it’s clearly a meaningful ritual for them both.
A small “men’s group”, made up of four men living with dementia, gathered together as usual, sharing a box of Quality Street and chatting about their favourite flavours. One man arrived with his wife, he was wearing a bright red shirt covered in reindeer, looking very festive. He normally dislikes the singing and normally does not attend the group because of this, so it was lovely to see him relaxed and enjoying himself.
Two people were also celebrating their birthdays that day. One a regular group member, sparkling in her sequins, was serenaded with Happy Birthday and later danced joyfully to her favourite song, My Boy Lollipop. Another gentleman celebrated his birthday sat quietly next to his friends. We all sang happy birthday to each of them and the group leader gave them both a birthday card. Birthdays are always celebrated in the group, often with a handmade celebration cake made by a lady in the group.
Towards the far end of the long table, a cluster of partners chatted together, laughing and admiring one another’s Christmas jumpers and hats. People wore their paper crowns proudly, creating a sea of bright colours across the room.
Next came the raffle, which proved to be a real hit. Several people were lucky enough to win more than one prize. One woman was especially delighted with a knitted Father Christmas doll, complete with a tiny toy soldier tucked inside; she told me she planned to give it to her great-granddaughter for Christmas. Another winner received a set of men’s cotton handkerchiefs for her husband, while someone else happily claimed a box of Christmas cards, explaining that her mum would be thrilled with them.
As people finished collecting their prizes, the singer picked up the microphone again for a final set of festive songs. The energy remained high, with couples and friends dancing together, waving at each other across the room and singing along.
When the event finally wound down, I stayed behind to help clear up. People asked each other repeatedly, “Are you coming next week?” “Will we see you before Christmas?” “Are you coming to the Christmas meal?” Their warmth and eagerness were touching. It felt, as it so often does, like being part of a real community.
The Christmas Party was everything a community celebration should be: busy, joyful, sometimes emotional, full of music and movement, and packed with small acts of kindness. From the schoolchildren’s carols to the lively dancing, from heartfelt conversations to laughter over crackers and raffle prizes, every moment reflected the strong sense of belonging within this group.
For many, it wasn’t just a festive afternoon, it was a reminder of support, companionship, and the simple joy of being together.